Waking Up EP

by Charles Edison

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1.
04:25
2.
03:27
3.
02:49
4.
01:52
5.
04:03
6.
02:39

credits

released May 8, 2017

All tracks written and produced by Charles Edison
Recorded at Brixton Hill Studios by Alessio Costa
Mixed and mastered by Chemo at KMJ45 Studios
Artwork photography by Gabriel Puyana
Artwork design by Ben Black

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Charles Edison Essex, UK

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Track Name: Broke In Two
Things had been going well for like, a couple of years
And you still made me feel light headed like a couple of beers
No fuss, no tears, I mean it was so clear
And now Ii'm in a mess, saying this stuff that you won't hear.
But I'm just saying what's left, maybe I'm wasting my breath,
Nevertheless, let's get this off of my chest
I never thought that you would ever desert me
And maybe that's the reason why you thought this ain't working-
Out, how now could I ever survive?
You cut me off and left me dying for a place in your life
That ain't right, now I'm second guessing all that I do
Don't wanna talk to no one else cos' none of them could be you
I guess it's true though, in hindsight - we couldn't be right
Towards the end, the signs were there - I never saw you most nights
I can't swallow this, I'm gonna choke
You said you're feeling happy now, I still ain't got the joke
I just hope you remember.

[Hook]
Remember all of the times I said I loved you,
Cos' you felt stronger before you were broke in two
And now something ain't right, cos' you ain't with me at night and it's like -
I gave you my world, I designed our lives ahead of you,
Cos' you felt stronger before we were broke in two

After debris settles and the dust gets swept off,
Maybe we can pick it up from where we left off
Back when we spoke cos' I can't just get lost
There's movies playing in my head, our personal best of
Partly I believe you'll realise you messed up
When that happens, I wish I could tell you to get fucked
But that'll be hard cos' I ain't got hate for you
Part of me partially thinks I could've been made for you
I thought I had it planned, I thought I had it all lined up
Cos' everybody's got their gem, I thought I had mine cut
You said "time's up, it's too late to change me"
I thought this was for real, but how you felt was fougaisie
And lately, I think maybe it's cos' I took you for granted,
I took advantage, cos' of the way we started
Cos' most guys would've run for cover
when you said 'the L word,' I said it back cos' I loved ya,
I still remember.

[Hook]
Remember all of the times I said I loved you,
Cos' you felt stronger before you were broke in two
And now something ain't right, cos' you ain't with me at night and it's like -
I gave you my world, I designed our lives ahead of you,
Cos' you felt stronger before we were broke in two

Ii used to be the nice guy, the right guy,
The firefly in your night sky, now my light's died I'm like - why?
You couldn't answer so I'll never know, ever
But i have to let it burn to Usher in a new era
So I've been deleting all your pictures off my Facebook
Ones of you, ones of us and ones of me that you took
This dude was shook but fuck that, I'm moving on
Now I'm using this song as the method to prove you wrong
It's been months since you left, I'm trying to guess what you're up to
That letter that I sent and several texts couldn't touch you
I'm feeling fine now, when I see you will be my next test
All these weak groups and we were one of the best
Now this stone has lost its moss, so I have to let it be
I'll whisper words of wisdom then I guess I'll let it be
So I can put this shit to bed like a slut that I'll probably fuck
Whatever, I'm better off, it's your loss - best of luck

[Hook]
Remember all of the times I said I loved you,
Cos' you felt stronger before you were broke in two
And now something ain't right, cos' you ain't with me at night and it's like -
I gave you my world, I designed our lives ahead of you,
Cos' you felt stronger before we were broke in two
And now I don't know what to do, cos' we're broke in two
Track Name: Nights
3AM, and I ain't even started this,
Somebody tell me where this evening's after party is
I need somewhere new to use, where I can be ejected from
Some new people with new toes for stepping on
But for now, I'm doing shots until the bar is dry
The game is on, I top the leader board because I started high
I'm going in, I'm going in until I pass out
I'm down to fuck up my life, I might as well start now.
So where's that girl from work who's single cos' she's been hurt,
I'm trying to use her self esteem to see what's underneath her shirt.
She told me "do what people our age are doing"
So I'm acting like the next man, now everybody screwing
And they say it don't suit me - please, just shoot me,
For wanting something easy, something raw, something sushi
I'm making plans I never plan on seeing through,
Ain't that me through and through? Weren't that me when it was me and you?

Nasty manipulator. Chronic pisstaker. Damaging embarrassment who vomits on his fifth jaeger
I lost my mind in a night club bathroom
Haven't learned a lesson since I left my last classroom
Causing scenes, acting up in all directions
Missing my marks like rhetorical questions
It's hard to know if anybody really gives a damn
When all they've got to offer me is boxes of citalopram
But I ain't take em because they fuck up my high
And I ain't talking cos you'll fuck up my high
So let's go and get lost in a house share
Phone it in, call it on, tell em that we're downstairs
If the phones off, then pass me another bottle
Don't ask me when I'll be stopping, it's hard to be this dishonest
I'm just tryna go strong, go for broke till I stop
Like the time I was so gone, I did coke with my boss
Distorted debauchery minus the extravagance
Extorting me for more, I'm trying not to but she's adamant
Girls who only stay until the mirrors wiped clean
I've been told it's too far and i'm scared that it might be.
It's likely. It's frightening. Na, they just saying that to spite me
I feel like being myself might break me
Trust me - it's much easier when you hate me
Track Name: Waking Up
Our relationship is NA - not applicable
Cos we were fucked way before this ever got physical
That's not literal, it's just a play on words
If you don't understand that, you can vanish at the interval
Moments of my life, when I was getting low or feeling high
Regretting those is set in stone and now I can't forget the lines
Reading between them, on a study of a new existence
I'm forced to face this bed I've made and lay awake resisting
It went from sex, lies, videotape
To attempted suicides and using just to escape
Now I'm sick of being miserable, I've given all to live as nothing
Through guilty memories that render me as just disgusting
My promises peter out before they pop off
I swear to god I'm lying to myself that I am not lost
But it's plain to see - I'm so jacked
Locked in battle, fighting back against these panic attacks

[Hook]
Waking up is harder than it seems
Wandering through these empty rooms of dusty books and quiet dreams
Pictures on the mantle, speak your name
Softly like forgotten tunes, just outside the sound of pain
. . . .
And now I'm a liability.
Cos' I'm always trying to find a way of copping but this murder scene is killing me
So get the chalk ready, I can't keep my thoughts steady
The voices in my head ain't saying nothing but they talk plenty
I can't do this anymore - I'm fucked
Consumed by a monsoon of pure disgust
Between the raw uncut and the whiskey
It's stripped me, of everything I was - people round me say they miss me
So, I do another one, another one, another
until this bright mind is drained of any colour
Just keep racking lines, never mind racking nerves
Disassociated paranoia - it's getting worse
There's nothing left, except guilt and shame
And feeling like reality is never gonna feel the same
I'm falling down and that's the bottom line
Waking up is hard with no alarm, I'll never know if I can stop in time

[Hook]
Waking up is harder than it seems
Wandering through these empty rooms of dusty books and quiet dreams
Pictures on the mantle, speak your name
Softly like forgotten tunes, just outside the sound of pain

[Bridge]
Change will come to those who have no fear
But I'm not now or ever were the type who kept a rule book near
What I said was never what I meant
Now you see my world in flames, my shadow songs, my deep regret

After another relapse, I seem damned to this existence
Believing that I'm walking the path of least resistance
Persistence only made my thinking sink deeper
Into the abyss, an overdose and a seizure

[Hook]
Waking up is harder than it seems
Wandering through these empty rooms of dusty books and quiet dreams
Pictures on the mantle, speak your name
Softly like forgotten tunes, just outside the sound of pain
Track Name: Here
I'm thinking of suing the Swiss government lately,
Cos turning on the LHC is how I make beats
I made peace with the me from my past,
now I'm back I'm a beast - I can sleep when I pass
Until that moment I'm an omen, I'm a horror story
I've got today, somebody worry bout tomorrow for me
I'm done with projecting all my wishes
Right now is the only time that I can make a difference
No more excuses. No more feeling useless, over thinking every single movement
Cos you'd know that I'm worth respect
If you'd heard all the work on my last cassette
Now it's on to the next - yes, no rest
No stress, feeling blessed to be taking breaths
I took steps to get some help
Now it's me being me - never somebody else

[Hook]
It took a minute just to take my time
Another minute for some peace of mind
So I can get back on these feet of mine
Right here is where I've got to stay

It took a minute just to learn to breathe
Another minute tryna earn some peace
So I can get what I deserve at least
Right here is where I've got to stay

I say the stuff they never will
I stay forever ill, blessed with heavy skill, while the level they're on is feather still
Free speech and I'm going demo crazy
I started cleaning up and now I'm busy renovating
Elevate - higher planes like I borrowed a jet
Was sick of being sick to death and hedging all of my bets
What you expect? I was dead last year
Now I'm starting every January as if it's my last year
Full steam, put in all that I got
Never had nothing to piss in so this thing is my pot
I used to agonise - no ones gonna listen, this'll never sell
But I was only missing recognition from myself
Now I make what I want, I don't care if they like it
I get out what I put in when I write it
And that's a lot, no half measures
Every day is day one - the start of forever

[Hook]
It took a minute just to take my time
Another minute for some peace of mind
So I can get back on these feet of mine
Right here is where I've got to stay

It took a minute just to learn to breath
Another minute tryna earn some peace
So I can get what I deserve at least
Right here is where I've got to stay

I can't make the same mistakes again
I can't go back and change
I wont make the same mistakes again
As long as I stay right here